176 Christmas Jokes for Kids, by Age

Most Christmas joke lists are drawn from the same small pile, and the pile isn't sorted. Across the ten pages ranking for these searches, a reindeer somebody else owns turns up on eight, the snowman's breakfast is a brand of cereal on almost all of them, and one of the biggest lists repeats the same Santa Pause joke three times. Only one of them sorts anything by age, and it files a riddle about King Herod's taxes in its kids' section.

This list is sorted. Every group says which ages it suits, no joke leans on a character or a brand somebody else owns, and nothing appears twice. The hardest puns come with a one-line explanation, for the moment a seven-year-old asks why everyone groaned.

What makes a Christmas joke funny to a kid?

Two different things, depending on how old the kid is. A preschooler laughs because something is backwards: Santa walking the wrong way, a snowman in a sun hat. Paul McGhee, who spent his career studying how children's humor develops, describes this stage as a love of "doing things backwards or wrong" and turning the known world upside down. The pun comes later. By six or seven, he writes, kids discover that the same word can have two meanings, and only then do they "really understand the very riddles they've already been telling."

The numbers bear that out. In a 2020 study of 74 British children aged 4 to 11, four- and five-year-olds could explain a riddle on only 3.5% of occasions, yet they smiled or laughed at about a third of the riddles they heard.

Christmas makes this matter more than most holidays, because its vocabulary is full of double meanings. Claus sounds like clause and claws, fir sounds like fur, yule sounds like you'll, and a present is also right now. That is why most groups below start at six, and why three- and four-year-olds get a group of their own. Our jokes for kids list goes deeper on the research and sorts year-round jokes the same way.

Which Christmas jokes work at which age?

Match the joke to what the child can hear, not to how old the joke book says it is. If the laugh depends on noticing that a word means two things, it needs a six- or seven-year-old. If it is funny because something is silly, it works at three.

Age bands describe typical development and overlap heavily, so treat them as a starting point rather than a rule.

Santa jokes

In 1955, a child trying to phone Santa from a Sears ad reached Colonel Harry Shoup at the Continental Air Defense Command instead, and that Christmas the command told reporters it would track Santa's sleigh, a job NORAD took over when it formed in 1958 (Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum). Most Santa jokes turn on a pun, so they suit six and up. The revolving door works at four on silliness alone.

1. Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it soots him.
2. How do you know Santa is nearby? You can sense his presents.
3. What do you call Santa when he takes a break? Santa Pause.
4. What do you call Santa when he runs out of money? Saint Nickel-less.
5. Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can hoe, hoe, hoe.
6. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing. It was on the house.
7. What goes "ho ho swoosh, ho ho swoosh"? Santa in a revolving door.
8. How do you know Santa is good at karate? He has a black belt.
9. What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? Santa Clues.
10. What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas quacker.
11. What does Santa get if he's stuck in a chimney? Claus-trophobia.
12. Who brings presents to crabs? Santa Claws.
13. Who brings presents to sharks? Santa Jaws.
14. What did Mrs. Claus say when she looked up at the sky? "Looks like rain, dear."
15. What does Santa do in the summer? He takes a sleigh-cation.

Elf jokes

Santa's workforce shows up in print earlier than most people guess. Harper's Weekly ran a poem on December 26, 1857, reporting that "He keeps a great many elves at work, / All working with all their might" (the 1857 issue, scanned). Elf jokes are nearly all size jokes and self puns, so they land from six.

1. What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
2. What kind of music do elves wrap presents to? Wrap music.
3. What do you call an elf who won't share? Elfish.
4. How do elves take pictures of themselves? They take elfies.
5. What's an elf's favorite sport? North Pole vaulting.
6. Where do elves go to vote? The North Poll.
7. Why did the elf go to the doctor? He had low elf-esteem.
8. How do elves greet each other? "Small world, isn't it?"
9. What do elves make sandwiches with? Shortbread.
10. Why are elves so good at school? They always do their gnome-work.
11. Why did the elf put his bed in the fireplace? He wanted to sleep like a log.
12. What's an elf's favorite kind of story? A short one.
13. How does an elf get to the top floor of the workshop? He takes the elf-evator.
14. What did the elf say after wrapping the last present? "I'm elf-hausted."

Reindeer jokes

The reindeer got their names in a poem first printed, unsigned, in the Troy Sentinel on December 23, 1823, and the last two started out as Dunder and Blixem, an Anglicized spelling of the Dutch words for thunder and lightning. An 1837 reprint changed them to Donder and Blixen, and Clement Clarke Moore renamed Blixen as Blitzen in his own 1844 book of verse (Snopes has the full spelling history). Every joke here sticks to that original team. Most need six and up, and the sunglasses and puffer jackets work younger.

1. What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? Horn-aments.
2. Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses at the beach? He didn't want anyone to recognize him.
3. What does a reindeer say before telling a joke? "This one's going to sleigh you."
4. Which reindeer is the best dancer? Dancer. Prancer is still practicing.
5. Which reindeer sends the most valentines? Cupid.
6. Which reindeer is the fastest? Dasher. It's right there in his name.
7. Which reindeer makes the loudest entrance? Donder. His name started out as thunder.
8. Why should you never play hide and seek with Blitzen? You'll only see him in a flash.
9. Why do reindeer wear fur coats? Because they'd look silly in puffer jackets.
10. How do reindeer know Christmas is coming? They check the calen-deer.
11. What did the reindeer say to the elf? "Nice to meet you, dear."
12. Why do reindeer wear bells? Their horns don't work.

Snowman jokes

Guinness lists the tallest snowperson ever built, a snow woman, at 122 feet 1 inch, finished in Bethel, Maine, on February 26, 2008 (Guinness World Records). This is the best group for a table with mixed ages, because a melting snowman is funny at four and a pun on chill lands at six. If these are the ones your kid keeps repeating, the Christmas Village world puts them on a snowy street at twilight, on a puzzle you can build again every December.

1. What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.
2. Where do snowmen keep their money? In a snow bank.
3. What do you call a snowman in July? A puddle.
4. How do snowmen say hello? "Ice to meet you."
5. What do snowmen call their kids? Chill-dren.
6. Why was the snowman looking through the bag of carrots? He was picking his nose.
7. What do you get if you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
8. What's a snowman's favorite game? Freeze tag.
9. How does a snowman get around town? He rides an icicle.
10. What do you call a snowman who throws a tantrum? A meltdown.
11. What do you call an old snowman? Water.
12. Where do snowmen go to dance? The snowball.
13. What did one snowman say to the other? "Do you smell carrots?"
14. What do snowmen put on their tacos? Chilly sauce.
15. What's a snowman's favorite snack? A brrr-ito.

Christmas knock-knock jokes

Knock-knock routines tend to become fashionable after about seven, linguist David Crystal notes, since a child has to run a four-line script and land a pun at the end. These run easiest first. The first one works at four, because it needs no wordplay at all, and the name puns get harder the further the name drifts from the words it stands for.

1. Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting Santa. Interrupting San... HO HO HO!
2. Knock knock. Who's there? Irish. Irish who? Irish you a merry Christmas.
3. Knock knock. Who's there? Avery. Avery who? Avery merry Christmas to you.
4. Knock knock. Who's there? Holly. Holly who? Holly-days are finally here.
5. Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time for Christmas dinner.
6. Knock knock. Who's there? Yule. Yule who? Yule never guess.
7. Knock knock. Who's there? Arthur. Arthur who? Arthur any cookies left for Santa?
8. Knock knock. Who's there? Rabbit. Rabbit who? Rabbit up nicely, it's a present.
9. Knock knock. Who's there? Icy. Icy who? Icy you peeking at the presents.
10. Knock knock. Who's there? Elf. Elf who? Elf me carry this, it's enormous.
11. Knock knock. Who's there? Sherwood. Sherwood who? Sherwood like another cookie.
12. Knock knock. Who's there? Noah. Noah who? Noah good place to hide the presents?
13. Knock knock. Who's there? Santa. Santa who? Santa text to say I'd be late. Didn't you get it?
14. Knock knock. Who's there? Dexter. Dexter who? Dexter halls with boughs of holly.
15. Knock knock. Who's there? Hannah. Hannah who? Hannah partridge in a pear tree.

Christmas tree jokes

Decorated trees were a German custom before they were a British one, and an 1848 Illustrated London News picture of Queen Victoria's family gathered around a tree at Windsor helped popularize them in Britain. Tree jokes lean on needles, branches and trunks, words that already carry two meanings, so they suit six and up.

1. Why was the Christmas tree bad at knitting? It kept dropping its needles.
2. How do Christmas trees get ready for a party? They spruce up.
3. What's a Christmas tree's favorite candy? Orna-mints.
4. What did one Christmas tree say to the other? "I've been pining for you."
5. Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed a trim.
6. What did the ornament say to the Christmas tree? "Quit needling me."
7. What did the Christmas tree say back? "Quit hanging around."
8. What did one Christmas light say to the other? "Want to go out tonight?"
9. What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an apple? A pineapple.
10. What's a Christmas tree's favorite subject? Tree-gonometry.
11. What did the beaver say to the Christmas tree? "Nice gnawing you."
12. What do you get if you eat the Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis.
13. Why does the evergreen stay so calm? It has nerves of spruce.
14. What did the fir tree wear to the party? A fir coat.

Present and wrapping jokes

Present jokes turn on wrapping, bows and the word present itself, which also means right now, and that double meaning needs an eight-year-old. Write one on a gift tag and it gets read twice: once before the paper comes off, and once more after, by the person who finally got it.

1. What's the best present you can get? A broken drum. You can't beat it.
2. Why do mummies love Christmas? All the wrapping.
3. What did the wrapping paper say to the present? "I've got you covered."
4. Why are presents so good at keeping secrets? Everything stays under wraps.
5. What did the bow say to the present? "Sorry, I'm a little tied up right now."
6. Why did the boy put his present in the freezer? He wanted a really cool gift.
7. What did the tape say to the wrapping paper? "Stick with me and we'll go places."
8. What do you call a present that's already been opened? The past.
9. Why was the present so stressed? It had been wrapped too tight.
10. What did one gift bag say to the other? "Let's not get carried away."

Christmas cookie and food jokes

One of the earliest English gingerbread recipes, written in the 1400s, contains no ginger at all, which is the kind of fact a nine-year-old will repeat all December. Food is the easiest place for a first pun, because a five-year-old already knows every word in the joke and the double meaning has the shortest distance to travel.

1. How does a gingerbread man make his bed? With a cookie sheet.
2. What does a gingerbread man use when he breaks his leg? Candy canes.
3. Why did the cookie cry? Its mother had been a wafer so long.
4. What does Santa eat for breakfast? Mistle-toast.
5. What's the difference between Brussels sprouts and boogers? Kids will actually eat boogers.
6. Why was the apple pie crying? Its peelings were hurt.
7. What does a gingerbread man wear on a cold day? An extra layer of icing.
8. Why did the candy cane go to the doctor? It was feeling a bit twisted.
9. Why wasn't the gingerbread man scared of anything? He was one tough cookie.
10. What did the milk say to the cookie on Christmas Eve? "Dunk you for coming."

Christmas carol jokes

On December 16, 1965, Gemini 6 astronauts Wally Schirra and Tom Stafford played "Jingle Bells" on a harmonica and a handful of small bells, which NASA calls the first musical instruments played in outer space. The song itself first appeared in 1857 as "The One Horse Open Sleigh". Carol jokes only work if the child knows the real song, so they suit six and up.

1. What do monkeys sing at Christmas? "Jungle Bells."
2. What do sheep say at Christmas? "Fleece Navidad."
3. What's a cat's favorite Christmas song? "We Wish You a Meowy Christmas."
4. What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk? Jingle smells.
5. What's a parent's favorite Christmas carol? "Silent Night."
6. What's a snowman's favorite song? "Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow."
7. What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve? "Auld Fang Syne."
8. What's an astronaut's favorite carol? "Jingle Bells." Two astronauts played it in orbit in 1965.
9. What do fish sing at Christmas? Christmas carp-ols.

Winter and polar animal jokes

Polar bears live only in the Arctic, and apart from one species on the Galápagos Islands, penguins live only in the Southern Hemisphere, so outside a zoo the two never meet. These run from five up, and the last two save their misdirection for nine-year-olds.

1. Why is it always so cold at Christmas? Because it's Decembrrr.
2. Who is a penguin's favorite relative? Aunt Arctica.
3. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
4. What do polar bears have for lunch? Iceberg-ers.
5. How do sheep say merry Christmas? "Merry Christmas to ewe."
6. Why did the owl go to the Christmas party? It heard it was going to be a hoot.
7. Why did the penguin cross the road? To go with the floe.
8. Why don't polar bears eat penguins? They live at opposite ends of the world, and it's a very long walk.
9. How do arctic foxes stay warm? They sit in a corner, where it's always 90 degrees.

Christmas jokes for 3 and 4 year olds

A separate group, because almost every pun above sails past a three-year-old. At this age the joke is the picture, not the words: something is in the wrong place, making the wrong sound or wearing the wrong thing. These are built to be performed loudly and repeated forty times, which they will be.

1. What goes "oh oh oh"? Santa walking backwards.
2. Why did the snowman wear a sun hat? He was going on vacation.
3. Why did Santa wear his boots to bed? His feet were cold.
4. What does a snowman say when he's cold? "Brrrrrrr."
5. What's white and goes up? A very confused snowflake.
6. Why did the elf put a sock on his head? His hat was in the wash.
7. Why did the snowman sit in the fridge? To stay nice and cold.
8. What sound does a sleepy reindeer make? "Zzzzzz... jingle... zzzzzz."
9. Why did the gingerbread man hide under the table? He saw a big mouth coming.
10. What does a snowman eat for dinner? Ice cubes, with a carrot on the side.
11. What's a cat's favorite part of Christmas? Knocking the ornaments off the tree.
12. Who is always on the nice list? The dog. The dog is always on the nice list.
13. Why did the elf sneeze? Glitter went up his nose.
14. Why did the reindeer bring a pillow? Christmas Eve is a very long night.

Christmas riddles for kids

Riddles are harder than jokes, because the child has to find the answer instead of waiting for it. In a 2022 study of 60 British schoolchildren given riddles with three possible punchlines, six- and seven-year-olds picked the right one 49% of the time, eight- and nine-year-olds 80% and ten- and eleven-year-olds 88%. The first six below work from about five, and they get harder as the list goes on.

1. What has lots of needles but can't sew? A Christmas tree.
2. What falls all winter but never gets hurt? Snow.
3. What has two eyes made of coal and a carrot nose, but can't smell anything? A snowman.
4. What gets bigger the more you roll it? A snowball.
5. What's wrapped up tight, hidden away, and opened on one special morning? A present.
6. What can you catch in December without a net? A snowflake, on your tongue.
7. What has a hook but never catches a fish? A candy cane.
8. I only get hung up in December, and I'm empty until Christmas morning. What am I? A stocking.
9. What goes up the chimney when the fire is lit and never comes back down? Smoke.
10. What starts with S, ends with A, and has three letters in between? Santa.
11. What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month? The letter D.
12. I'm tall when I'm young and short when I'm old. What am I? A candle.
13. What wears a coat all winter and pants all summer? A dog.
14. The more of these you take, the more you leave behind. What are they? Footsteps in the snow.
15. What can go up a chimney down but can't come down a chimney up? An umbrella.

Christmas cracker jokes

A Christmas cracker is a paper tube that two people pull until it snaps, with a paper hat, a small toy and a printed joke inside. London confectioner Tom Smith, who set up shop in the 1840s, tucked small love mottoes inside his sweet wrappers and perfected the snap in the 1860s, and by the 1930s the love poems had been replaced by jokes. They are supposed to be terrible. Nine and up, because the groan is the tradition, and the harder ones come with the explanation a younger sibling will ask for.

1. How many letters are in the Christmas alphabet? Twenty-five. There's Noel. (Say it out loud: no L.)
2. What do you call Santa's little helpers? Subordinate clauses. (A clause is part of a sentence, and a subordinate one works for the main one.)
3. How do you make a slow reindeer fast? Stop feeding it. (To fast means to go without food.)
4. What's the difference between a knight and one of Santa's reindeer? One slays the dragon, the other's draggin' the sleigh.
5. What happened to the thief who stole an Advent calendar? He got 25 days. (A jail sentence, one day per door.)
6. Why did Scrooge keep a pet lamb? It kept saying "Baaaah, humbug." (Scrooge's complaint about Christmas in A Christmas Carol is "Bah! Humbug!")
7. What's the best thing to put into a Christmas pie? Your teeth.
8. Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off.
9. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman. (The Abominable Snowman is the yeti of legend.)
10. What do mice send each other in December? Christmouse cards.
11. What's green, covered in tinsel, and goes "ribbit"? A mistle-toad.
12. What do you call a reindeer with three eyes? A reiiindeer. (Three i's.)

Christmas dad jokes

For the adult end of the table. Every one is clean, and the nine-year-olds will groan the loudest, which is how you know it worked.

1. I bought my wife a fridge for Christmas. Her face lit up when she opened it.
2. I got a reversible jacket this year. I can't wait to see how it turns out.
3. I'm giving everyone batteries for Christmas. Free of charge.
4. Which side of the Christmas tree has the most branches? The outside.
5. Why are Advent calendars so hard to find by December 20? Their days are numbered.
6. My sister asked for something with diamonds in it. I got her a deck of cards.
7. Why didn't the skeleton go to the Christmas party? He had no body to go with.
8. I'd tell you a joke about Christmas lights, but it isn't very bright.
9. How did the ornament get so attached to the tree? It was hooked from the start.
10. I asked for a new tie. I was told that was knot happening.
11. I tried to wrap a bicycle, but I didn't know where to start, so I went around in circles.
12. My family asked me to stop making Christmas puns. I said snow way.

Funny Christmas sayings for cards and gift tags

A saying is a joke with the question taken out, which makes it the right size for a gift tag, a card or the caption on a Christmas photo. These work best written down, where a kid can spot the swapped word for themselves.

• Have an ice day.
• Yule love it.
• Oh, deer.
• Tree-mendous.
• Snow much fun.
• Cool yule.
• Up to snow good.
• Elf-approved.
• Nice-ish.
• Dear Santa, I can explain.
• Mistle-toes (under a photo of small feet).
• Sleigh all day.

Old Christmas sayings, and where they came from

A few of the oldest ones are still in use. "At Christmas play and make good cheer, for Christmas comes but once a year" comes from Thomas Tusser, a Tudor farmer who put his farming advice into rhyme (Five Hundred Points of Good Husbandry, full text). "Bah! Humbug!" is Ebenezer Scrooge's verdict on the whole season in Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol, published in 1843. And the 1823 poem that named the reindeer gave us both "visions of sugar plums" and Santa as "a right jolly old elf" (the original text).

Where do Christmas jokes work best?

Anywhere a kid can read one out loud to people who have to stay put. Christmas dinner is the obvious stage, and cracker jokes were made for it, but the weeks before Christmas give a joke-teller more chances than one meal does.

A lunchbox note is the easiest: one joke a day through December, and a six-year-old reading the punchline to friends at lunch is reading practice nobody had to assign. An Advent calendar works the same way, with a joke folded behind each door next to the chocolate. A gift tag gets a joke read before the paper comes off. And a video call with a grandparent is the best rehearsal there is, because a grandparent will laugh even when the punchline arrives first.

Keep the list short for younger kids. Three jokes they know cold will get more laughs than twenty they half remember, and the pause before the punchline matters more than which joke it is.

How can kids write their own Christmas jokes?

Give them the word list instead of more examples. Nearly every pun on this page swaps a Christmas word for a word that sounds like it, and once a seven-year-old spots the swap, they can build new ones for the whole drive to their grandparents' house. Pick a word from the left column, find what it sounds like, then write a question whose answer uses the other meaning.

Say the word out loud before deciding what it sounds like. Most puns only work spoken.

Spotting the swap is a reading skill too, not only a party trick. In a study of 100 sixth and seventh graders, riddle-solving explained unique variance in reading comprehension even after vocabulary was controlled for. Noticing that "sleigh you" can mean two things is the same move as noticing a sentence can be read two ways.

Frequently asked questions

The best joke on this page is whichever one gets told at your table forty times between now and New Year's. For the rest of the year, our jokes for kids list sorts dinosaur, pirate and space jokes by age the same way. And if you are still shopping, these personalized Christmas gifts for kids star the kid doing the telling.